Adult Children of Alcoholics
“I never knew what I was going to be
coming home to.” ~Anonymous
Life in an alcoholic home is often filled with violence, disappointments, lies, and numerous broken promises. This causes children not to trust, to learn poor communications skills, and to have trouble developing intimacy. They often have anxiety due to a lack of control over events, fears related to the uncertainties in their life, and guilt related to their sense of responsibility toward their parents’ activities.
An unhappy childhood can create long-lasting effects that carry into adulthood.
Children raised in an alcoholic home often suffer from some type of emotional of physical abuse. Often they feel unloved, unlovable, a failure, and incompetent.
Behavioral traits are the coping skills that a child develops as a means of surviving in an alcoholic home. Sometimes those traits work as an adult, sometimes they do not.
There is not an inevitability that you will follow in the same footsteps that the alcoholic family endured. You do not have to continue the dysfunction that was created.
Loss of Control: Fear of loss of control, whether it is over one’s emotions, thoughts, feelings, will, actions, or relationships is pervasive. Relied upon are defense mechanisms such as denial and suppression in order to control their internal world of thoughts and feelings
Trust: Raised in an environment of chaos, unpredictability, and denial.
Avoidance of Feelings: Expression of feelings typically met with being discounted, disapproval, anger, and rejection
Over-Responsibility: Belief that you are responsible for others emotions and actions. (Example: responsible because of your bad behavior.)
Ignoring Your Needs: Your own needs continually took a back seat to alcoholism, chaos, emotional and physical abuse. The way we were treated as children determines how we perceive relationships, marriage, and ourselves.
James Blundo's Approach
James Blundo has pioneered and developed a very successful Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACOA) Treatment Program for both individuals and groups. The program will introduce you to the lifelong impact that is often not realized. You will become aware of what it is, how it affects your daily life, and how to move beyond it. The impact does not go away. It continues to affect your life especially in the areas of intimacy and the expression of anger.